Earlier this year, I asked my team what my weaknesses were.  One of our core values is improvement and I wanted to make sure I picked the most important ones to work on.  With help, I concluded impulse control was an area that could use improvement.  I tend to move fast and it can rub some people the wrong way.  I need to learn to match the pace of others around me.  It’s like matching the music to lyrics and slowing down when they do.  And learn to pause and wait when dealing with conflict or disagreement instead of shooting off responses too quickly.

Emotional intelligence writing describes people with high impulse control with good patience and anger control who can make careful, rational decisions.  A person with low impulse control might indicate poor-decision making capability based on rash judgments or someone who has difficulty controlling anger.  The last time I took the test my score for impulse control was good.  It said my ability to resist or delay impulses, drives and temptations to act is slightly higher than average.  I rarely feel impatient (I might disagree with that) and rarely overreact or lose control.

How would you rate your impulse control?  Have you ever been hi-jacked by your emotions and had an outburst?  Have you ever overreacted and regretted it?  We certainly see it with entertainers and sports stars.  Generally, that behavior does not garner respect.  The behavior will be remembered instead of your work and it will hurt your relationships.

Ideas to Improve Impulse Control

1. Be Less Defensive – Pause instead of react

2. Improve empathetic listening

3. Don’t send that email or text when emotions are high

4. Change your thinking from “what I want now” to “what I want in the future”

5. Let emotions be a guide, but not a driver

6. Go from reaction to intention

7. Awareness: review your recent reactions, identify your behavior patterns, pick new behaviors

8. Get rid of the need to be “right”

9. Resist the impulse to act

Lacking impulse control can derail your career and seriously hurt your relationships.  Taking control of your behavior can lead to much success.

My team suggested I tell the silly story of how I was trying to improve my impulse.  I recently went to look at a potential horse to buy.  I decided to take the Prius instead of the truck, so I didn’t buy it on the spot.  You have to use whatever tactics work for you.  I did buy the horse anyway and it was delivered the next weekend.

Have you reacted thoughtlessly and caused damage?  Have you made an impulsive decision you regretted?  What did you learn?  How have you changed that style?