One of the many roles of a leader is helping staff deal with stress, failures and the bumpy rides “getting things done” often entails. Recently, one of my managers came to me concerned about the stress level of her staff. In one of my suggestions to her, I sent her a link about Stoicism. This philosophy often pops up in my entrepreneurial readings, including one I’m currently reading, The Art of Living: The Classical Manual on Virtue, Happiness, and Effectiveness.

Stoicism is a practical philosophy on how to handle daily life obstacles, dating back to ancient Greece. It’s a guide for living a virtuous life, focusing on what matters and on persevering despite setbacks. This philosophy helps us attain greater emotional resilience in the face of adversity, along with achieving a deeper sense of purpose and meaning in life and work.

In this time of Covid, it seems the world is struggling with managing stress and having a sense of purpose more than ever. The current Great Resignation points to stress, burnout and people rethinking their life and their job. This might be one of the best moments to explore this ancient philosophy.

Events Don’t Hurt You; Your Attitude Toward Them Can

Epictetus wrote, “People are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them.” Nowadays, this is often phrased as “We don’t have control over events or other people’s actions; the only thing we have control over is how we react.” Things (including other people) themselves don’t hurt or hinder us. It’s our attitude and reactions that give us trouble. You can choose how you respond and think. You have within you the power to decide how to react.

Don’t Worry About What is Out of Your Control

The Serenity Prayer embodies this key principle of Stoicism: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.” Happiness and freedom begin when you learn to distinguish what is within your control from what is not. Within your control are your own opinions, aspirations, and desires, as well as anything that repels you. Things like the economy, what someone else does or thinks, where you were born, a pandemic, the wealth of someone else, and how you are regarded by others are all outside your control; they’re external. Trying to control external things only results in torment. Training your mind to know the difference helps you let go of the stress that comes with trying to control things that you can’t control.

Replace Unhealthy Emotions with Healthy Ones

In Stoicism, to stop fretting about this or that is a matter of self-mastery. Self-mastery takes practice. Start small with little things that bother you. Maybe your dog ate your carpet, your kid spilled something, traffic was horrible, or a coworker was rude. If you can cope calmly with this inconvenience, you are closer to inner serenity. It is within your power to not be disturbed, and with practice, you become stronger, better able to cope with life’s larger upheavals, as well as the minor annoyances.

Recently, I was waiting for a shuttle bus at a tradeshow. My production manager called and said if we didn’t have a bill of lading within the next few minutes, the tradeshow booth would not go to our next tradeshow. I discussed it with him and my business development manager, who was standing next to me. We got it done. A friend who overheard the conversation said, “You are so calm. I’d be freaking out!” In my mind, I was thinking that the booth would either ship or it wouldn’t; there was no need to fret about it. (That links back to noticing what’s within my control and what isn’t, too.)

You can also avoid adopting other people’s negative views. Often what hurts one person has no effect on someone else; it is the view they take of the situation that hurts. Remember to analyze events themselves and your interpretation of them. It is better for others and ourselves to remain detached and avoid dramatic reactions. You can be kind and sympathetic without getting pulled down yourself.

People don’t have the power to hurt you. It is only your judgment of the incident that provokes you. Don’t consent to be hurt and you won’t be—this, too is a choice.

Avoid All Blame

“Small-minded people blame others. Average people blame themselves. The wise see all blame as foolishness,” Epictetus rightly proclaimed. Stoics suggest when we suffer setbacks, disturbances, or grief to never place blame on others, but on our own attitudes. This principle is a bit of a trigger for me. We attempt to teach self-responsibility at Taylor Studios to have less blame floating around. Unfortunately, I hear blame often, things like the project manager didn’t give me the information, this client is unreasonable, or the was bid wrong and that’s why we can’t get it done within time goals. We coach people to own what is theirs to control and to use “I” statements instead. We also encourage people to not beat themselves up when things fail.

Stoicism’s beliefs offer us comfort in a form of emotional management to achieve inner peace and happiness. Its philosophy teaches us how to be more effective and to make wise choices. It guides us towards virtuous choices, which helps us connect with others, better manage stress, and become more resilient—and in the process find more meaning and joy in our lives.

“Nothing in the world is good or bad but thinking makes it so." ~William Shakespeare

“What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.” ~Maya Angelou